September
11th
was horrifying to me as a child; I do not think I truly grasped the
idea that when the building went down…people had died until I saw
pictures of people jumping out of the building. I remember having
countless nightmares of how I would escape a falling building. I
remember I always thought I would never stoop to jumping out of the
building until I heard the miracle story of one man who had survived
the jump. I thought the most the attacks had affected my family was
my uncle who was in the building next to the world trade center and
from whom we were not able to get into contact with until late at
night. But, I did not realize it would affect us any more than that…
- that we would have to find my brother, Osama, another name
- that we would have to explain why we followed a religion that promoted such attacks
- that our family trips to Canada were lessened and our time at the border elongated
- that I had to argue with my father to let me wear the hijab for he feared I might be victimized
But,
life is filled with surprises and positives to weight out the
negatives. Post-racial America meant educated people who questioned
perceptions and viewpoints and didn’t let the stereotypes fill
their thinking. It meant…
- we were talked out of changing my brother’s name by his preschool teacher who loved his name.
- that when we explained our religion, it was in a safe space created by the community in an interfaith dialogue group.
- that racial profiling was being recognized and questions like safety vs. civil rights were being brought up.
- that I win every argument with my father so of course, I got to wear the hijab.
Another
positive I saw was that although there were hate crimes, we weren’t
purposely being targeted. Maybe only at airports and borders and I
was more than happy to give up my rights for the sake of public
safety. I do not mean this in a sarcastic way; I honestly did not
mind getting checked over and over. It made sense to me.
The
Simplified
Complex Representations
that emerged especially after 9/11 of these positive Muslim/Arab
characters that were added into plot lines that still revolved around
terrorism made it seem as if those characters were complex but
actually they were creating simple binaries of what it means to be a
good/bad Muslim/Arab. And I too was reflecting this in who I was as a
person. As someone who publicly can be identified as a Muslim, I
found myself questioning my ways based on how I thought everyone
would judge me. I never spoke against anything the U.S government did
(not that I knew much) and always felt the need to be extra vocal on
my patriotism. I made sure to smile extra, not because I wanted to,
but because I didn’t want people to assume that since I wasn’t
smiling it meant I was oppressed and to add to the victim
narrative trope.
I felt the weight of my religion and those who follow it on my
shoulders. I still do. I never questioned it; it forced me to
understand my surroundings. It shaped who I became and it made me
okay with the inferential
racism
and the race profiling that did occur around me.
I,
too, was assuming that there was a binary between a good Muslim and a
bad Muslim and I was trying my hardest to fit into the good Muslim
image. I did not realize I was doing these – I was so engulfed in
this hegemonic thought. I, myself, started to essentialize
beards and niqabs with an extreme version of Islam when it truly is
not. The power of this discourse was that it made Muslims themselves
fearful of portraying some of these stereotypes
because of how much we internalized these conflations between the
negative attributes put on certain parts of our religious practice. I think the best way to diminish this binary is by telling more stories - not only the victim story. I think the online world is a perfect place for images and stories of Muslims of all types to really get out there and tell their own story. It is by showing these multiple layers of a Muslim identity that the stereotypical Muslim image can be erased.
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